...

The evening had been hot.  Lying in bed, tummy side up, she could barely roll over to her sides to lessen the tension building up on her backbones.  The ceiling fan, bought cheap from a wayside store, had been uncooperative.  Dangling a couple of inches away from her mosquito net.  It had started to whine, then to sputter, then finally stopped whirling altogether.  With nothing else to keep her cool save a native hand fan, she lay in darkness drowsily fanning herself to keep from dripping with sweat.  Hungry mosquitoes buzz angrily from outside the net.  She was thankful she didn't have to worry about stinging mosquito bites.  She was well protected.  From outside, the moon casts an eerie to her bedroom window.  The soft evening breeze connived with a cherry tree to produce sinister scratching sounds as its branches swiped the vinyl rooftop.  Every now and then, she'd strain her ears to catch tiny scuffling feet on the floor or the soft treading of cat paws on the rooftop.  Suddenly, she sucks in air.  And moaning softly, she lets it out slowly.  Her ribs are sore.  Her hips too strained.  Her feet swollen.  Gently, she pats her tummy.  The baby responds by relaxing and settling down.  Her stomach however, growls in complaint.  Pang so f hunger gnaw at her sides.

Outlines

The day had started out gray with a slight drizzle. The winds seeping through every crevice it could find,the garden still damp from the onslaught that was the night before. Everywhere was the smell of decaying leaves and dampened spirits. They were planning to go to the beach that morning just before they went on home. Just before they might go their separate ways after. There wasn't much to see, that was sure of though. The sea held an unfriendly sight: the sand a dark beige color, the sea a rolling foam of blue green. There must be something enchanting about walking the sand bare feet. Trailing footsteps must be something romantic. Of course, that would be if you were walking with your better other half.


It felt different today. A tingling glow was passing through two people who had not declared anything, yet were still public with how they felt for each other. Perhaps in time when they've waited long enough. When they've made certain what they really felt for each other. For now, they were enjoying the scenic views.


The firm grasp of his hand was comforting. It made her feel warm all over despite the coolness of the surroundings. Their smile was enclosing them in a bubble that no one else tried to invade. It was their own bubble, warm and comforting for both of them. He was closing his eyes, trying to catch his forty winks and she was looking him over. High-bridged nose, thin, heart-shaped lips, and a distinctive forehead. She didn't need to see his eyes to know that they were deep set and penetrating. She'd seen them before and they always managed to make her knees go jelly every time they'd hold each other's gaze. Seeing him now with eyes closed made her free to explore the outlines of his face. She was memorizing them. There was a nagging feeling that she will only be remembering those outlines remotely. There was that nagging feeling that she was losing him. But somehow engraving each detail in her mind, she was keeping a part of him with her even after he'd left.  Like she was engraving the details of the scenic views. With a sinking feeling, she looks away beyond those mountains.

drizzle..

the night had deepened
as we walk along
these asphalted roads
slowly drenched with drizzle
the walk had seemed slow
the road too long
your smile warmed me
amidst the coolness of the night
the soft pressure of your grasp
warm and comforting
i wonder...
how so soon i have reached
the end of this road
shivering and drenched
when wrapped in my overcoat
hands kept in my pockets
i walk alone..

isn't it?..

sometimes it is..
but one has to put up with it..
it's the only way to cope..
to cope and to steel oneself..
and then go numb..
isn't that a nice thought..
fire and ice..
will it break?..
eventually it will..
so wait..
wait for it to come..
wait and lie still..
feel deeply..
only in time..

Walking Away

How does one walk away..
How does one forget..
Walk away and forget..
Be numb..
Don’t look back..
There’s nothing to go back anyway..
Nothing to look forward to either..
Just stay stranded..
To survive..
To keep afloat..
Don’t tilt your head..
You are a pitcher full of fresh water tasting tears..
Press your palms close to your chest..
It will lessen the pain..
Turn your head around..
All around death abounds..
No promises of yesterday for remembering..
No vows to look forward to..
Just deathly silence..
Bear with it..
Wait..
Keep waiting..
That’s all you can do..
A hollow soul..
Behind that sunshiny smile.