Is being a single parent the trend nowadays? Is better to be off without a partner in raising kids, earning a living to pay the bills? Do single parents earn the same respect and dignity married couples receive? What are some of the sacrifices single parents have to go through in order to earn their places in society?
A lot of people wonder just how single parents manage their jobs and their lives with their kids in a society strictly raised on stereotypes. Go strolling in malls on a typical Sunday-after-mass days and see husbands and wives happily trailing behind their Brady bunch. Mommy and her girls head over to the boutique to look for a nice pair of shoes or a new dress. While daddy and his boys hit the sports shop. At lunch, they would be seated at a dining table in one of the fast food chains excitedly nosing through the menu. Mommy tries to take control over a few squabbles while Daddy digs in his pocket for his wallet. The typical Filipino family. Now, try to look more closely at a few people walking around malls with a trailing toddler behind or a baby snuggled comfortably in their arms. They walk with a preoccupied look on their faces. They either have that blank look or worried frown. Rarely would you see them smiling. They are walking these malls because it is their day's off from work and they could take baby out for a stroll while they do grocery and brainstorming over how much money needs budgeting for the bills at home and how much left for allowance going to work. Talk about multitasking They look worried although they are quite used to juggling work, home, and finances. Sometimes, though, they would look around all these families milling about and wonder how it feels to have a partner share the burdens they have to face with everyday. Single parenthood can be a daunting experience.
It was never the case before having the babies. These individuals always started with a partner who swore to take care of them for the rest of their lives. Or maybe not. It could have been a one night stand and all of a sudden the girl is pregnant. The girls cry, the boys worry, blames are exchanged. All the same, they never expected it would end this way. However, after a grueling period of uncertainty, the babies are born and there is nothing left to do but to cope. They look for jobs, they move together under one roof, they try to make ends meet and be good parents. It works for a while until they get into petty fights over how things had to be done. It goes deeper as they start lashing out at each other's fault After a trial period of adjustment, they finally give up. They agree on a settlement which is the usual girl takes the baby and boy promises support. After a while it works that way and after a couple more times each of them finds himself on his own.
Years ago, single parents would have already nosedived into marriage just to save face and regain dignity for their parents, their children, and themselves. If not, they would have immediately flown away to some distant country for the richer ones, supposedly to enroll in some glorifying course. Still others would have already disowned their own children, passing them off to some relative and claiming them to be a cousin or something like it. Nowadays, it wouldn't matter if it were a fifth child and your friendster status would still be “it's complicated”. People have evolved around the notion that as long as you are able to stand for yourself and for your children you're good to go.
The call center industry has been a hub for sleep-deprived, coffee-overdosed, cigarette smoke-belching, nocturnal agents who work at night and wonder aimlessly during the day wearing sunglasses designed for the blind. That said, it is also currently a hub for single parents who have developed a productive habit of holding two jobs at the same time in addition to whatever sideline businesses they could squeeze in to their already tight schedules. They go about night and day all hyped up like a worker bee. Their caffeine levels zooming in to nitro scales. Their sunny disposition in life never clouded with doubts. Their ability to adapt to changing situations have equipped them to overcome unbelievable obstacles helping them become a better person.
While most of the people think being a single parent is an unfortunate status in life, majority have come to admire the strength and determination that have set them apart from the rest of society. But even then, they still go through the discrimination they have been careful avoiding in the first place. There's the knowing glances hospital staff exchange upon filling out the live birth certificates when the mother would have to respond with an "n/a" under father's name. There's the fuss and "discussion" whether or not to christen the child since there isn't a representing father right on the very day the mother and child are there with the godparents for christening. There are the understanding nods when something goes wrong in school and mom is brought in along with child for counseling. The whispers and speculations behind their backs. But that's alright. That's what they go through. They accept it and persevere through it and they've managed to prove them wrong. They arrived in battle with life's struggles unarmed and yet emerged victorious well-stocked with lessons learned. They've come this far to tell their story. This is their legacy.
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